Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Things I Wish Men Would Wear: Baseball Edition

I'm a diverse person and that means that sometimes, I enjoy a sporting event.

Sweating my nuts off fabulously in 2010.

That is how I found myself at a Cincinnati Reds baseball game a few days ago.

I want to say that, yes, okay, I may be a horrific snob at times but usually, I suspend sartorial judgement when it comes to skilled contests. But this? This is unacceptable.

This photo was taken by a very lovely individual named Clint Spaeth. Many thanks to him!

Okay, granted, his silly expression doesn't help this gentleman. But look at those pants! Look at them! You could build four pairs of beautifully-snug trousers out of these parachutes. And then I would be happy because sometimes, sporting events are only really interesting if you can examine the backsides of athletes.

Pete Rose
Thanks, Pete.


I would like to say that I am not, and should never be confused with, a practical person. But shouldn't the person in charge of covering the extremities of competitors give them clothes that won't get in their way?

Shudder. But thanks to Clint Spaeth again for taking one for the team when he took this one.

There is one bright island in this sea of unending polyester pantaloons, and that is this guy:


He's so old school. He's a perfect specimen from a storied ball club that began as the Red Stockings.

1869 Cincinnati Red Stockings lithograph

These guys would be proud.

Do you harbor any hatred for ill-fitting uniforms? Or do I just sound like Cher from Clueless ("So, OK. I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don't get how guys dress today")?

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