I have spent countless hours in meditative egotism plying fashion blogs. Setting up photo shoots, speeding home to take advantage of waning daylight, conjuring puns, and photoshopping out imperfections... This has been my life for the last couple years.
And now it has all paid off.
Because I just got... FREE SHOES.
Standing on chairs is totally normal at my house.
I know Frédérik already told you that Ugglebo donated shoes to me and so this is not news.
But it is for me because, as I'm not entirely sure you've noticed, these SHOES were FREE.
You can see how sad all the old shoes in the background are.
It took me a week to stop screaming with glee. Okay, that's not true. I'm still screaming.
And now I will tell an epic romance story about how I fell in love with these Ugglebo shoes. If you're anything like my mom and my sister, you'll want to know whether or now this love story has a happy ending.
Spoiler alert: It does. These clogs and I live happily every after.
Ribbon! Key chain! FREE SHOES!
My new Ugglebo clogs arrived in a charmingly-wrapped box with a free key chain and adorable post card that carried this friendly warning:
1. If you haven't worn clogs before your body is going to need some time to adjust to the rigidity of the wood. Keep in mind that this is how clogs are supposed to be.I haven't worn clogs before but whatever. I've worn many shoes. I've worn wooden-soled shoes. I've worn sandals and Mary Janes and leather ankle straps. How different could it be?
2. The leather will break in. Your clogs may feel snug initially. Don't worry, this is perfectly normal. Only wear your Ugglebos a couple hours a day the first week or two, especially if this is your first pair.Oh, boy. They were snug. I initially assumed it was because I have enormous, man-sized feet that no historic Swedish cobbler could ever have foreseen. But the card said not to worry. So I didn't.
taking their place on my placemat
After the snugness observation, the next aspect of my newborn clogs I noticed is how insanely airy light they are.
Okay, I have a lot of shoe experience, but I had never met wooden-soled shoes that were so light. I know you don't believe me. I know you're sitting at your laptop scoffing at me. But in all reality, it's striking how un-clunky these babies are.
These will become a wardrobe staple.
So, I scoped 'em out up-close. And when Ugglebo says that their work has "top-notch quality," they ain't joking. The leather is thick and soft. The soles are smooth and ergonomically shaped. The style is thoughtful. You can absolutely tell that this is a company that is benefiting from generations of experience and from a workforce that takes pride in its product.
I would like to say that I'm not just sucking up because they were free. I cannot tell a lie and I would never, ever mislead anyone when it comes to fashionable footwear. I may not have many morals but I do stand by my style snobbery ethos.
Buckle up. It's going to be a bumpy night.
Anyway. When I donned the clogs, my feet seemed to magically shrink. My humongous canoe of a foot looked three times smaller. It was so strange but wonderful.
I was obsessed. I threw caution to the wind and decided to wear them to work the next day. For 14 hours. In a row. What could go wrong?
Fact: Clogs make you 92% more coy.
And I received at least five documented compliments on my new shoes. Before lunch. Oh yeah.
Attention slut needs: Sated.
But, the wise old owl at Ugglebo was right. I should never have undertaken such a foolhardy errand. Because while, yes, they were light and airy and beautifully crafted, my massive extremity was no match for the very high-quality leather.
I hobbled home, defeated.
But there was no lasting damage or permanent pain. And I keep wearing them for small periods of time, and keep getting compliments (YES!) and they are breaking in. And I keep loving them more and more.
Ugglebo clogs have a timeless style for a reason: They are built to last. Unlike the thousands of crappy, trendy shoes I buy every year, these are classics that will only grow more fabulous as they become worn.
And that, my friends, is worth any price.