Sunday, September 27, 2009

Color me pretty

By Aqua Catlin

Don't mean to be absent. I'm on a shoot with no cell or internet reception. Its a lovely one, up high in the Malibu mountains. A place previously unknown or imagined. You can actually see stars - a luxury here in LA, and the sky is a clear that I haven't seen in forevs. Though its really hot, typically there have been clouds BELOW us but when they clear in the afternoon you can see the sea.

Leads me to feelin' summery. Hot enough to wear shorts if I only had a tan instead of this cheesecake complexion. I had the weekend off the shoot and used the time to treat myself right. Slept yesterday till 3:30, got my hair done, (Shortys "3 in 1 botanical Shampoo-Conditioner-Bodywash" is an awesome moisture rich find!!), shaved, got a spa mani-pedi with a girlfriend, went out for dinner, and went tanning twice. Two times in two days. I DON'T KNOW. Is this too much? Someone in the know please explain tanning and successful tanning.

In this quest for the right tone of "less white than before" I have toasted myself like a piece of battered fish and chips. Went yesterday for 9 minutes. The max is 12. Took a gay bff's advice and wore my underwear so I'd see the difference and not go all crazy and obsessive and eventually orange.

It didn't work and I went back today all crazy and obsessive and eventually red. I asked the guy at the desk if it was too soon, if I should wear sunscreen and if I should wait a few more days. The answer: "No. Go in for 10 minutes." I knew I knew better but really wanted to wear shorts on the hot set tomorrow. Me: "Should I try one of these expensive looking bronzers?" Him: "Yes. Here, this one's new." Australian Gold Bronze Bronze. So far: Australian Pink Pink Ouch Ouch.

So my tanning saga continues. Mystic is a fail. Spray is a fail. Bed: I feel like El Scorcho salsa from Del Taco. Lucky I covered my face, but the rest of me is tender, so bloody tender. I'm in pain where anything touches me and far from bronzed. Grumble. How long do I need to wait between tans? How dangerous is the Ergoline 450 tanning bed light and what about the Ergoline 800? I love that song Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen by Baz Luhrman and listen to it regularly. Should take my own advice but it didn't feel right in a salon. I was raised in Australia to avoid the sun and to always wear sunscreen and I do. Can I do this in a tanning bed or is it not necessary? I need answers, you gorgeous brownies out there. You're everywhere, so someone must know something.

And moving on, here's what I've learned from the shoot. Don't look everyone up and down to evaluate the usefulness of their apparel to you and your needs...well not off the set anyway. Don't touch the creepy extra guy's clothes from behind while he's wearing them. Don't ever go more than 2 weeks without a manicure. I got an ingrown fingernail and it made me very grumbly. Skirts on men stretch too much. Always have doubles, especially if there's a lot of bright red or green body makeup featured in your film and the key makeup is the nervous type. (Perhaps to help, I can play a role with my special new hue.)

Here's what I've learned again: Double-stick tape rocks, snaps suck, actors who eat in white costumes will be punished, Downey Wrinkle Release is a miracle, sleep and preparation are key but they are not a friend to each other.

Well, this is a bit of a miscellany post but its what I have at this time. Wear Sunscreen!

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