Thursday, April 30, 2009

Color Match Bra by MySkins, Inc. Matching what exactly?

By Aqua Catlin

As promised, I’m reviewing my recent purchase, the convertible bra by, “MySkins bras...designed to be invisible, and to keep the attention on you.”

The silhouette is gorgeous. Very womanly. My bosoms look BIG, round and high. Its heaven. An aesthetic draw-back is that the bra is so foamy-fabricy it looks like I’m wearing a hand drawn cartoon shape across my chest. Its clean looking but not pretty and I suggest they hire me to add pretty to this support miracle. Was NASA involved? Take the thing off and lay it down and it stands up by itself.

It does not need me like I need it... And I will buy more. I wish they came in other colors and with more pretty details because, I feel feisty and feminine beyond all other females when I work this thing.

Bust…oops, I mean, “but”, invisible? Nopey-nope. I got A's in my color theory classes and I’ve assisted selection of colors for public buildings… so selection of the specific nude was my best. But its visible – way more so than my other nude bras. They also sent me a color card and I studiously pressed it against my boosies for a quarter hour and I’m telling you, there is nothing they have that matches my flesh. Sad face.

I purchased the convertible in “Honey” and its too orange. Today I wore a drapey white blouse as the final color test and have ended up showing much more that I’d ever want. If the shape weren’t so cartoon-like I’d feel like a hussy.

Unfortunately the skin-matching nude is the company’s major selling point, in my opinion, a marketing mistake compared to the wonderful job the thing does as a bra. Who cares what color it is when “they” look this big?

Here’s a pic showing:
1. The silhouette. Work-eht, okaaay, snap.
2. The warm peach color brazenly offered from below my blouse.
3. Minor bruising still below my eyes from my nose job and the perfectly matching eyeshadow
Next week, Lady Gaga.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

john daly's pants

by Frédérik Sisa

So mouse on over to this web page to see golfer John Daly's choice of attire. Impressive, no? You bet - although I can't say I share his, um, taste in colours and style. But let's give him proper credit...he's got balls, that's for sure. Good on him for having fun.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

brains and beauty in United Nude's architectural footwear

by Frédérik Sisa

I'd like to introduce you to my little friend, Standard Complaint No. 1. I hinted at it in my previous post, but I thought I'd set the scene for this week's missive by articulating it more clearly. Briefly, it goes something like this. It helps if you read the following sentence using a whiny voice. "Waaah - women get all the fun variety of clothes and shoes and accessories, with lots of colours and shapes and styles, while men get varying degrees of L.L. Bean." Of course, as a friend point out all this variety comes with beauty expectations - a fair point worth musing about in a future post - but for the most part, Standard Complaint No. 1 is that men don't have nearly the fashion freedom and flexibility women have. Call it shoe envy, fashion envy. whatever. I promise not to drag it up too often. Nobody likes a whiner, right? With that in mind, here's a perfect example of SC#1: United Nude

There are plenty of great designer brands out there in women's footwear - Blahnik, of course, Louboutin, Balenciaga, Martin Margiela. Would it be heresy to declare United Nude an easy equal? What’s that? Equal to Blahnik? Oh yes, I think so.

Take a look at Mobius, named after the iconic mathematical object in which a
Strip forms a surface with only one side. (Take a strip of paper, give it a half twist, and join the ends together – voila, a strip on which if you were to draw a line, you would eventually reach your starting point after traveling across both “sides” of the strip.)
As designed, UN’s flagship Mobius consists of a single strip that “forms, at once, the sole, heel, foot-bed and upper.” It’s available in different heel heights (6cm, 9cm). Gorgeous; I can see why this is UN’s iconic design.

But a number of other designs stand out, like this one (Porn):Also, this one, inspired by the famous Eames chair (if you’ve never sat in one, oh you’re missing out):
Aw, heck, check out the whole product line for yourself.

And just as I was picture how these shoes would pair with clothes – the index page shows a very nice application of Mobius with a reliable pair of skinny blue jeans and black blouse – a bit of website excavation revealed some snappy lookbooks. Peak inside this one to see a model wearing the shoes while garbed in Buttonhole fashions.

What makes UN’s designs so appealing isn’t just the refined aesthetic, or the variations they offer on each core design concept (note the use of buckles and straps), or even sex appeal with lots of class; it’s that the shoes also have a brainy character. The structural foot support (as in the porn, which slides the footbed through a loop that serves as both heel and upper), the use of straps; this is architecture. (No surprise, there; one of UN’s co-designers is Rem D. Koolhaas, nephew to the well-known architect Rem Koolhaas.) UN is one of the rare brands that offers shoes as exciting in concept as in aesthetics.

If that isn’t enough, there’s also the price. Where Blahniks and Louboutins can cost over a grand, UN’s products are surprisingly, perhaps at times relatively, affordable. Pump/flats Mono Lo are $85, structurally bold Cosmos are $485, and the rest fall in between. Astonishing, really.

Now, ladies, if you happen to own a pair of UN shoes, you might be able to answer the obvious next question: how do these feel when out there in the real world?


Thursday, April 23, 2009

fashionoclast is go!

C'mon in, reader. The blog water is fine. (Not the bong water, mind you; the blog water.) The Fashionoclast, an ambitious fashion blog associated with The Front Page Online, is officially go! Feel free to poke around. Make yourself at home. Aqua and I are working on getting settled into a groove, but we've got plenty for you to chew on in the meantime as we iron out the kinks and trim away all the oddly juxtaposed metaphors.

Housekeeping-wise, we have

...the obligatory inaugural post, explaining what what The Fashionoclast is all about.

...an explanation of this spiffy lil' award we'll be handing out to products we love.

Beyond all the dusting and sweeping that comes with launching a blog, Aqua and I both have gotten the ball rolling with our first official topical posts. Scroll down, or click here for Aqua's and here for mine. The only question is, how many clichéd metaphors can I use in a blog post? Let me count...

Please send us your comments, your thoughts, your ideas. If you see something you'd like us to review or discuss, let us know.

If you're a designer, vendor, or any sort of creative and you have a product or servie you think we'd like to write about, we want to hear from you too.

Again, welcome!

“A Brief Self-Introduction” Or “Its not me, its my eyes”

by Aqua Catlin

This will be a bit of an intro-post. I want to thank you, Frederik, for having me here. Usually, as you know only too well, I have plent-ay to say but not yet being a blogger or a writer, I can only promise to do my best to express well and keep it fun and honest, and maybe more. I’m really open to blog subject suggestions from readers as I willingly admit, sometimes the things I’d naturally want to write about, may be just too opinionated and I know I’ll have to try not to spout when I tout.

Please read my bio here or on LinkedIn or Facebook where you can add me on my Costumes Page (Aqua Catlin Costumes), to get a sense of my background and as we move forward with the site, you’ll get a sense of what I appreciate. Appropriately, I have a huge appreciation for and desire to learn more of the visual, musical, and human arts and I welcome discussion here.

Now… back to Vanity and the Pursuit [of perfect looks and the perfect product]. There’s not much of a better place for me to start. Consumerism or not, we all want a product that’s the latest and greatest yet doesn’t make us feel superficial. After all, its so perfect we actually really really do neeeeed it!

I just naturally think of it as ‘appreciation for correct proportion and detail’, but once when I bought the clear bandages, my companion rocked my ego when he told me matter of factly that the other kind worked better and my buying the impractical kind was because, “…you’re vain,”. I tried to ignore his statement but have never stopped questioning if its true or not. Since I do use up to 39% of my income, (this figure could be way off, how would I know, I’ve been looking in the mirror, not sitting with a calculator and a banker), on laser hair removal, hair stylists, the gym, seasonal clothes, the perfect underwear, botanical-scientific cosmetics, massage, a weekly mani-pedi, having my nose corrected, (entirely cosmetic), and I’m thinking of asking my $urgeon today for a nice filler around my mouth… do I have a problem or am I doing the world a favor? Is it a healthy focus?

I believe that presentation is 75% of anything and that quality is the other 75%, making up an exceptional overall person, product, service.

As a responsible citizen of Los Angeles, Beverly Hills- Adjacent, near Hollywood, and one with strict and nagging eyes, how could I risk your eyes too by exposing you to have to see the stray hair or my eyelashes not looking their absolute hugest and therefore most alert for you? Is it your fault that my legs are naturally blindingly whiter than Dunn Edwards whitest white? It would be irresponsible of me NOT to handle these situations. I do it for the sake of the community and to make my eyes shut up and be pleased so I can find peace with what I’m offering. Strong words? Well when you’re wearing this particular hue of red lipstick, that happens all the time.

I know, some wonderful feminists and probably others will probably not believe or like any of this. Know that I actively defend and value equality in every area and for everyone. I totally value others and myself and my actions as a human and a woman and a lady. My pursuits are just to please my eyes so that I feel great. Its not for men, and its not for the fashion industry. Men don’t know that my $18 nail polish has to be replaced because it has microscopic bubbles, or that I need a facial because, “I haven’t had one in a while”. They honestly wouldn’t have a clue that women are not perfect if we didn’t tell them so. And the fashion industry is about opposites and money, not always taste. My pursuits are all about me and my bossy eyes and should not be interpreted as undermining women’s liberation, self-respect or equality of the sexes in the least. Its not about feminism. If it was an issue of that, I’d like to say, “Thank you” to the activists who gave me the choice I enjoy today as I shop. The choice to buy an earthy Simple Shoe using hemp and rubber or a 5”, 3 color, multi-animal skin sandal with a shiney polished octagonal heel and suede platform and feel equally valued and relevant in either option.

I strongly believe there’s a place for almost every taste because we’d never feel great in what we’re wearing in comparison to anything else if we all looked the same. Most of all I believe the wearer, woman or man, must feel good and feel considered by and relevant to the designer.

On that note and that of equality & liberation, I do feel for Frederik on the matter of men’s sandals being boring and samey. Its true. There are few interesting options for men, unless you want to go in the direction of European styles… kinda out of place in sunny, casual LA. If its any comfort, I think the Simple Shoes for women are far too primitive in silhouette and unrefined looking for my tastes. I know many women can pull them off, just not me. Here are a couple exceptions in their sneakers line that I quite like for what they are: here and here.

Pursuit of the Perfect Product: Today I bought a bra online without ever trying it on, (a recipe for “Return Shipping” good times), from a brand I’ve never heard of, “MySkins”, because they have 20 different nude hues to best match my skin tone. Puhlease! A nude bra under a white blouse is nude and does the job just fine. Right? But what if I’m wrong? Maybe it can be improved. It could be something I neeeeed that will increase my quality of life and that of others. Perhaps I didn’t know that my other nudes are glaringly obvious and offensive and this new, ideal bra will be truly invisible, making it so much easier on people I meet. Yes? The product doesn’t even look pretty – supportive and almost feminine but functional, not pretty and I love pretty. But with that skin-color-matching graph thingy, I realized, I’d been missing out on perfection and had to have it regardless of the risks. I think I will review it in my next post. Which I promise will be shorter!